To Hell With Bill Maher

Ok.. No, I don't really want Bill Maher to go to Hell.  I was just trying to be cute given the subject (and muted controversy) of his latest film, Religulous.

I'm not going to go into my thoughts on the movie other than to say that it is but one more example of that something I'm not legally qualified to diagnose but definitely affects him.   That "seems to be becoming more disturbed by the day" something.

I was a Bill Maher fan for a long time despite his continued best efforts to the contrary.  I was even a studio audience member during his Politically Incorrect days at ABC.  I even continued to watch his show for a while when he moved to HBO despite the fact that he rarely stages fair fights between his liberal and conservative guests anymore.

I overlooked a lot of his crap over the years, defended his right to free speech even when he was clearly wrong.   His brand of self-righteous nastiness though has now gone too far, one too many times.  He's becoming kind of  scary actually.  Reminds me a little of when George Carlin started jumping the track.

Who does this guy think he is?  Really?  He feels as if he can lecture us, the rest of the world, on religion (he doesn't believe),  politics (he's a far left right liberal),  and morality (don't get me started).

What ever got up into his backside?  Here is a guy who admits to regularly smoking pot and has served on the advisory board of NORML.  He is in favor of legalizing gambling and prostitution.  He has never been married and says he doesn't believe in marriage.  He also serves on the board of PETA.  You know, the people passing out the bloody versions of the McDonalds Happy Meals to scare kids and the ones that used to throw red paint fur wearing supermodels.  Yes, that PETA.

This is anything but a complete breakdown of Bill's views and I'm neither judging him or disputing his right to believe whatever it is that he belives.  I have to ask though...  With his amusing but extremist views, who does Bill Maher think he is to tell any of the rest of us anything about anything?  Further, why is it that the more extreme someone's views are the more apt they are to tell others how to live? 

Please go back to making us laugh Bill and for Heaven's sake would you get happy already.

Sarin Palin and The Photo That Moved Me

So, here I am, surfing the web (I know, no one calls it that anymore) and I run across this photo.  All of a sudden the irony hits me...

1.  It's the Republicans that are running a woman candidate this year and;

2.  The woman they picked is twice the man that Barack Obama and Joe Biden are.  

Anyone else feel like they have been transported to a funny, alternate universe?  Mark Twain once said "Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't."

I always feel smarter and more legitimate when I have quoted someone notable.

Olympic T-Shirt Ideas

China: 12 Is The New 16

12: The New 16 - Beijing 2008

Phelch Phan

Phelch Phelps

High School Wrestler Arrested For Teabagging Teammate

I'm not completely sure how I feel about this one.  Ok, call me a crude jerk but I have to admit that part of me thinks that the prank was a wee bit funny and that the "victim" is a pussy that needs to man up and get over himself.  

Of course the prank was disgusting and inappropriate but if that type of thing bothers him enough to file criminal sexual assault charges against a fellow student and athlete then he would likely be a better candidate for the school's Apple Computer Club than the wrestling team.  (Relax, this is being typed on a Mac) 

To me an appropriate personal response would have been to either get even or to kick the offenders ass.  If I were his father (I have two sons in college) that's exactly what I would have told my son.  No, I wouldn't have been thrilled if it had happened to me, my son or any of the men in my world.  But to file criminal sexual assault charges over this, something that will follow the other kid the rest of his life, seems way too harsh.   

So let me see if I can wrap this up.... 

Shame on Wally Wanker for putting his junk in the other kids face;

Shame on Johhny Junkface for not handling this personally;

Shame on Mr. Junkface for teaching his kid to be a pussy and to hyper-escalate a situation;

Shame on the authorities for not urging the parties to handle matters privately;

Shame on the adults for not finding a better more appropriate punishment for Wally Wanker and;

Shame on Connecticut and the rest of us for allowing things to get to a point where common sense has been overtaken by extreme political correctness.  


Cops: Bunnell wrestler assaulted mate
Article Last Updated: 08/13/2008 05:55:28 PM EDT

STRATFORD — A member of the Bunnell High School wrestling team was arrested yesterday for allegedly sexually assaulting another member of the team during a practice session. The 16-year-old boy, whose name was not disclosed because of his age, was charged with one count of fourth-degree sexual assault.

He surrendered to police, accompanied by his father, after learning there was a warrant for his arrest. The boy was released after posting $1,000 bond, pending arraignment in Superior Court. The charges are based on an incident last December during a wrestling team practice session at the school.

The 17-year-old victim was wrestling with another teammate, police said, when he allegedly heard the defendant tell his opponent to pin him to the mat.  While the victim was pinned on his back, police said, the defendant approached, bent down and exposed his genitals in the victim's face.

The victim managed to free himself and went to a water cooler to rinse out his mouth, declaring, "That was disgusting," according to the police report.  The victim was initially reluctant to report the incident, police said, but later came forward after other Bunnell students learned about it.

Police detectives later confronted the defendant, and while he contended he made a "gesture" that may have appeared his genitals had contact with the other wrestler, he claimed he didn't actually do it.

Wikipedia on Teabagging -

Men Are From Mars, Women Don't Have A Penis

My wife and daughter have been trying hard to get me to go with them to see the movie Mamma Mia. They've both seen the play on Broadway and in a regional touring production. They're just sure I'll love it and are dying to share the joy that is this production with me.

Newsflash Ladies... Men (95% of us anyway) are not women with slightly different equipment. Chick Flicks are so called for a reason. Note the Chick part. They appeal to and are enjoyed overwhelmingly by... help me out here... Chicks!

Similar but slightly different is the concept of a Date Movie. A Date Movie is a Chick Flick that dating men, men trying to make points or men trying to make amends for some horrible offense (such as leaving the toilet seat up one too many times) might suggest. But we digress...

What makes Mamma Mia especially dicey is that it is not only a Chick Flick but a... are you ready... Musical! ARRGGHHHH!

A musical to me is kind of like an infomercial, a training film or some other sort of propaganda with really good writing and production values. If you're not careful you get sucked in... Just when you're ready to commit, suspend disbelief and enjoy the work you realize you've been ripped off and it's not a real movie! Usually when the stars start talking to the camera or break out into song.

UPDATE: They made we watch it. It, umm, wasn't that bad.

You Go Now! - The Deportation of M. Knight Shyamalan

Ok... This one will be relatively short and sweet. Here's an idea for a screenplay. A guy from India comes to the US and begins making films... incredibly bad films. We'll call him M. Knight Shamalamadingdong.

Despite the fact that his movies suck, that his productions seem to have as much drama behind the scenes as they do in front of the lens and that he's kind of a jerk, he still seems to get greenlighted somehow.

In steps our hero... We'll call him Dick Brawny. Dick is a sort of genius / lawyer / super-hero type guy. He alone figures out that Shamalamadingdong is really an alien (of the ET variety) using his space powers to dupe studio executives into making his films.

Brawny files suit on behalf of all citizens of Earth in order to protect them from further creative efforts by Shamalamadingdong. He prevails in court by using a long forgotten national security clause in US immigration code and Shamalamadingdong is shot back into deep space never to be heard from again.

The End

PS... Oh, and as punishment for the movies he inflicted upon us he's forced to star in a reenactment of a scene from a truly good movie... the shower scene from Shawshank Redemption.

Imus, Again!

So Don Imus is in trouble again. Seems he's made yet another incredibly stupid comment relating to African-Americans. He says that he was misunderstood, that he was actually standing up for troubled NFL player Adam "Pacman" Jones.

I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt insofar as I do not believe he's a racist. I do think he's an idiot though. I mean wow... how dumb do you have to be to even hint at someones race after what happened in the last episode. Also getting the idiot nod from yours truly are Imus' many critics... all of those that are calling for his head. Just as in the Rutgers incident, there will be no winners.

In his first well publicized incident, rather than simply apologizing earnestly and taking his lumps, Imus, flush with white guilt, snivels and grovels his way through repeated attempts to repent... as misguided as they are pathetic. All that this did was energize and in a sense validate his critics. And now he's snivelling and grovelling again... Imus says this time that "What people should be outraged about is that they arrest blacks for no reason". I'm not going to run down Pacman's record here but suffice it to say that his issues are neither imaginary nor trumped up.

So was Imus insincere or grasping at straws in his attempt to explain his latest goofy statement? I'm not so sure. I think that once again his strange sense of white guilt is showing through and he may actually believe what he is saying. As for the many other losers... The Rutgers Women's Basketball Team, in allowing themselves to be used by Imus' critics in this mess came out looking less than stellar. Ladies, you can fight your way to a national championship but some PG-13 crap from Don Imus is going to ruin your day? Oh, please.

Then there are the hundreds or thousands of kids that could of been helped in the way of scholarship dollars. Don Imus, his then employers and sponsors were desperate for a positive and low impact resolution to the first public relations nightmare. Imus is a proven fundraiser ( and has established "a working cattle ranch for kids with cancer". How many millions of dollars could have been raised for tuition in a positive, reasoned and respectful effort to raise awareness and promote dialog on race? It would seem that, at the hands of a group of very narrow minded and agenda driven folks, we'll never know.